PRL Serials

I wanted to listen. When I was six, everything my teacher said was law. I would cry just watching other people break the rules. But during that solar eclipse in 1992, after we had made our viewers out of cardboard and sat in the correct position outside in the school yard next to a big tree and my teacher said, “Don’t ever look directly at the sun, it’ll make you blind and crazy, that’s what the viewers are for.”, I had to defy her. I had to know what was so great about the sun that you couldn’t stare into its face, even when the moon was moving in front of it. So when my teacher and my classmates were concentrating away from the sun and down at their viewers that projected the sunlight through a small hole onto another piece of cardboard that would mirror the eclipsing light as the moon passed, I turned back, twisting my head like an owl to finally look at the thing that I had never really considered before. Before the warning from my teacher, I’d never even thought to look directly at the sun; just staring in the general direction of the sun is uncomfortable enough. But when she said it, I wondered how a big ball of light in the sky could make me crazy and blind at the same time and I was sure that I could look at it quickly enough and come away unscathed, alive to tell the tale.

I can’t really attest to the crazy part – can a crazy person be trusted to evaluate their own sanity? -, but I do know that I am practically blind without my glasses. The view through my eyes is like looking through textured glass. But it was worth it; it was my first psychedelic experience and it didn’t involve drugs. I hadn’t intended to stare at the sun, but once I was looking right at it I realized that it was hot enough to melt away the rest of the world. It was like looking into the face of God, and God’s face is inconceivable to us so my eyes and brain struggled to process the data. I felt myself looking at the sun from every point in my future when I would be drawn to look at it despite the damage that it had already caused. I felt like I was burning with it and the intensity was all-consuming. 

My teacher interrupted the experience.

I have seen a lot over the years and much of it was realization of the future I glimpsed in the blazing light of the sun. From that position on my knees when I six, when I first dared to stare into that glaring light, my entire future was laid out before me and since that day I have worked to realize my purpose. My very important purpose. Please don’t think me arrogant or self centered, but I am a very important person. Despite the failures of my parents to sustain a relationship together and a household for me, despite the years I spent in foster homes and state custody, I know my purpose and it is a very crucial purpose. The future of the planet rests on my shoulders.

I am writing this now on my skinny, twin sized bed in the room I have to myself. I have what most would consider to be an easy existence, but they would only think that because they have no idea what is coming for me, for all of us.

I have associates who are extremely important to the realization of my purpose; two women in particular mean the world to me, and to you but you can’t possibly understand why, and when we sit outside together holding hands, me with my eyes wide and face up into the sun’s light, I am clarifying the mission, how we will save the world from the evil alien doctor who would eat our brains and use us as guinea pigs. It sounds crazy because it is. Its hard to convince someone that soon the world we all know will be very different and human beings will have to rise to the occasion in order to protect themselves from interstellar threats. But we can do it, we will do it, I just have to suffer time under the enemy doctor’s care, play my role, and ensure that everyone else hits their marks correctly. 

I feel bad because my current role requires that I manipulate a young man who is particularly suceptible to mind control. He is compromised and I feel that I am moving him like a sad and tortured puppet. But he will bring Maria, and she is our savior.

If you are reading this, do not look into the sun, it will not call to you the way it calls to the Alia.

I am more than just a harbinger or a soothsayer; I am a woman who has lived a full life. I have loved and lost, I’ve known happiness and hard times; but now it seems that my humanity is truncated. I am a laboratory experiment to the doctors that brought me to this facility from the one where I receiving treatment in Columbia, SC. I had been there for much of my adult life and I felt that I had family there. When they moved me, I insisted that my associates travel with me and the evil doctor agreed; god only knows how he convined their families to approve the tranfers when they mostly lived in SC. But we are just a chance at fame for the doctors at this place, this institute they call it. They claim to be trying to help us, but if they really wanted to help, they wouldn’t keep us in the basement for most of the day and limit contact with family to a few days a year – not that I have much family left. We don’t need help, you all do, and we could be much more effective if people weren’t studying us and trying to replicate our talents in artificial ways. If only they would listen, they would know that we are all created equal, everyone is capable of amazing things, I just found my calling at an early age and I have been improving on it since.

And they don’t know the burden that these talents bring. I could help Nebuchad, I have touched his mind and I know that he is lost within his own conciousness, but I need him to be my puppet so that I can move everything into place.

Not to mention the grave responsibility of altering the timeline. I only do it for good, I swear, to avoid the messy things that were scheduled to happen, the things we are mindful enough to interrupt.

I long everyday to be under the sun and I am not awake until I feel the rays full on my face and the lights are burning circles onto my pupils. They say my eyes are getting milky white in the center, I can barely see it. But it feels right. Sometimes, your body moves you to do things because you are meant to, and even if I were to resist, my eyes would some how find the sun in the sky. And even when it does hurt, I can’t be upset because it feels so right and I know that the sun is the most reliable companion I will ever know – he is my anchor as Time moves, disinterested in the effect on us simple Earthlings. 

I will have time outside soon and I can already see it, the way it burns white in the middle with blue at the edges that seems to be moving slightly and at a very fast speed against the rush of yellow light that fills the rest of my field of vision. And then I am somewhere else, also in a different time, doing the same thing and recalling my surroundings and recent events. It is hard to explain the sensation.