The following is an account of a gathering of the VIV writing collective. All names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.
Day 4
The mood changed drastically after Max arrived. Before he knocked – startling us at the table in the dining room – and let himself in the front door, we were all silently meditating on the view from the front door of the house of Gabby’s uncle from her dream. The vision of an absent planet from an empty house is chilling and Gabby rubbed her forearms, seemingly calming goosebumps that sprang up as she sat in the aftermath of the retelling of her dream.
“Is there a boogeyman associated with the Welsh Rarebit, Chief?” Angie asked. “Like a Candyman or Bloody Mary that comes when you say rarebit enough times?”
“I bet you it’s a big black rabbit,” Sabrina said, “like in Donnie Darko.”
“A man in a suit talking funny?” Hallie asked.
“It’s weird whatever it is,” Sabrina said with a shudder.
“There isn’t a boogeyman though,” I said. “It’s just bad dreams in the stories, no Freddy Kruger that gets to everyone, and I still haven’t had a weird dream. I’m not complaining. Just hearing about looking out of a house and not seeing the world there freaks me out. “
We all fell silent at the table for a moment and then Max knocked at the front door; we all startled and I jumped up to answer it.
Max was happy to see everyone and we all welcomed the change to the mood in the house. We had agreed not to mention nightmares or mysterious black figures and we wouldn’t offer him any of the rarebit until dinner.
“Tonight’s our last night here, though,” Noah had reminded us before Max arrived.
“I’m sleeping, then leaving early in the morning,” Hallie said, “I thought that was the plan.”
“It is,” I said and looked at Noah. “You’re leaving tonight?”
“I thought we all were!” he said defensively. “I guess not now.”
So we agreed not to mention the rarebit until dinner when we would offer it to Max to try.
“I have the story,” Max said solemnly as we sat out on the back porch overlooking the backyard.
I knew what he meant by the serious tone in his voice and I was shaking my head slowly before I knew that I was.
“What story?” Hallie asked and I looked at Max to see if he would answer her question.
He didn’t, he just looked at me and so did everyone else.
“I wish you hadn’t brought this up here,” I said. I wasn’t angry, I just hated the audience. We were in Wilmington to discuss our work as a collective, but the story Max was talking about was very much between the two of us and if he came to talk about it, I was afraid that we would be talking to each other at the expense of the collective.
“I won’t do it if you don’t want me to,” Max said. “I have so much to fill you in about, we haven’t talked about it since 2016, and I never stopped digging. It’s the only reason I drove all the way out here.”
I respected that.
“Chief,” Gabby said, “I hope y’all are gonna stop talking like we’re not here and fill us all in.”
“I’m not VIV,” I said. I blurted it out because it was the real source of my hesitation to talk about Max’s story.
Everyone was confused. Noah sat with his mouth open and his brow so furrowed that his face seemed half the size.
“We’re all VIV,” Sabrina said casually, not understanding the reality of my statement.
“You’re right, but I’m not the same VIV that started This and Other Things…” I said before Max cut me off.
“They seriously don’t know?” Max said with disbelief.
“It’s never really come up,” I explained to Max, realizing with dread that we were having every part of the conversation at once and it would only confuse everyone more.
“I’m confused,” Angie said, “do you mean that you’re not the creator of This and Other Things? The original VIV?”
“No I’m not and I let you all believe that I was because I’ve been protecting VIV’s secret. I promise you that VIV is proud of the work we do and to her, there wasn’t ever a time when the quality of the work was diminished by her absence. Sabrina is right, we’re all VIV and we will be for as long as we want to do it. But there is a VIV, a first VIV and she respectfully asked for anonymity, and I respected that, I still do.”
“I understand that,” Hallie said thoughtfully, “but you told me how and why you started This and Other Things. We talked for hours and I dedicated myself to your mission. That was all a lie?”
“I presented myself as the original VIV because she wanted it to continue without her, but it was easiest for the name to continue without questions of whether change in leadership meant a change in quality or mission. The readers can’t pinpoint the point where the first VIV stepped away, its imperceptible. And now VIV is us.”
“This is a lot,” Noah said, “and very unexpected so I suggest we circle back to it after I hear about Max’s story that has something to do with this bombshell.”
This wasn’t how I imagined the last day of our summit. Everyone looked very pensive and I couldn’t tell if this would mean the end of our newsletter.