The editor at the paper where a lot of my freelance work is published in print is a woman in her late thirties called Pam. We’re friends; she’s made the long trip out to my house to have dinner with Valeria and me, and we’ve met up before when we were in Asheville. She’s a nice person and she’s the funniest person I know. She’s a fairly tall woman of Mexican descent, single mother of three kids.
I spoke with her over the phone about edits on a piece I was doing about the annual Dragon Rally through the Smoky Mountains. She thought it needed something.
“I think you have to do it,” Pam said, “either you do it and talk about your experience, or tell someone else’s story. Right now it’s just a press release. And I commend you on the most eloquently written press release about an event I would not go to that I’ve ever read.”
“Thank you for that. I can add someone to it, I’ll write it up and email you in a week.”
I really appreciate having an editor. It’s someone paid to read my work and to help me make it the best that it can be. I’m thankful for it and I couldn’t ask for a better editor than Pam. She’s been reading my work for long enough to know the weaknesses in my work and she’s helped me erase them, when my heart is in the work of course. When I’m writing for a paycheck and just phoning it in, it’s standard for me to get lazy and to fall back into bad habits. Pam keeps me honest.
“I look forward to your next draft,” she said. “Family good?”
“Yeah, Valeria sends her love to you and kids. How is everything on your end?”
“Just lucky to be doing what I’m doing,” she said. “It ain’t a lot of jobs like this left and I just had a scare. They say newspapers ain’t profitable no more, which makes sense but who’s watching the Watchmen? Local news should be able to transition to the digital age, people read on the internet, they just don’t want to pay for it.”
I felt for Pam. She was able to pick up money editing for freelancers like myself who paid her directly, and she did good for herself.
“The world needs you at that paper, Pam, your absence will create a darkhole that will consume the universe.”
“Ohhh, it’s so funny you said that.”
The Baby Nightmares 3 – Pam’s Dream
“I had the craziest dream that I meant to tell you about. You mentioned your fight with Valeria the last time we talked, about having a baby, and I was thinking about it I guess. I hadn’t dream that same night.
“I always think about how Valeria works with that space telescope. The way she described it, the way she talks about it, it’s really inspiring and I always find myself looking up at the sky to appreciate it.
“I had this dream where I was in a spaceship and I was being chased like the Mandalorian and Yodito…”
“His name is Grogu,” I interjected.
“Stupid name,” Pam continued. “So I’m flying through space like Yodito, being a badass, and I see this black hole in the distance, and it’s like, as soon as I see it, I start to get pulled to it. I panicked over the controls and lights were flashing, and just when I think I’m going into the black hole, the ship stops. I look out the front window or whatever and I see Valeria just floating there in front of it. She has her arms up over her head and she sees me, we make eye contact, and then she turns and a huge baby made of like, glittering stars comes through the black hole. It was beautiful, but it was so strange and I was horrified. I woke up pretty shaken.”
“That’s a strange one,” I said.
“I know, right? Where are you at with that whole thing now?”
“I’m not anywhere good, I can tell you that. I talked to my father-in-law and that didn’t help anything.”
“I wouldn’t want another kid if I was in your shoes,” Pam said. “Kids really do cost a lot, you know that, and you and Valeria have an awesome life together.”
“I know, I can’t imagine having a baby. But when I really think about it, really really think about it, I can see me and Valeria with a baby.”
“A big space baby,” Pam said. “I think you should just spend more time with your daughters, you and Valeria. Enjoy the life you have, Livingston. I gotta go, I’ll talk to you soon.”
Valeria would make a good midwife for the universe. And Pam was right, I didn’t want to have more children. I liked it how things were.
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