PRL Serials

V. (The Homeless Man’s Bedroom/Bathroom)

Emma sits in front of Thomas and sighs,

After she leaves the homeless man’s bedroom/bathroom.

She was sitting on the train looking at pictures on her camera. She was trying not to be too impressed with herself, and partly thinking about the movie schedule for the coming night. Vincent Manelli classics; first, Cabin in the Sky would be shown at six, then Father of the Bride, before An American in Paris closed out the night. Emma had never seen Cabin in the Sky before her boss, Larry, added Manelli Monday’s to the theater’s theme schedule. She watched it with Susie in the empty theater once the reel had been delivered. They had a discussion about race in America that made Emma realize that race had never been a huge factor in her daily life. She grew up in California before moving to New York to study art, and back home she learned just by virtue of growing up in the area, that people are people, not colors.

The homeless man looked to have been sleeping on the seat across from Emma for a long time before she noticed him there. He looked as comfortable as a person can be on the hard plastic of the small subway seats. He was spread out across the four seats closest to the door that led to the next car. Emma sat directly across from his head and hoped that he would not open his eyes while she was staring at him and get the wrong idea. It was just too hard to look away. This man had no other choice but to find the subway seats comfortable. This was one of the worst things for Emma to endure in her time as a student in the city. The city was predicated upon the myriad realities that its inhabitants brought to it. So while Emma was drawn to the city by the lives of artists who were inspired by their time in New York, there existed too, the lives of those who were consumed by the city. Those who were left so beaten that they could not drag themselves up anymore. It hurt Emma that this could be a possibility for anyone. She felt herself too determined for homelessness to be a possibility for her. But when she thought as she did while she watched him, she could imagine that the homeless said the same thing to themselves at some point growing up there when they undoubtedly encountered homeless people in the streets begging for change with a cup. And they would have shook their heads at that possibility, feeling it impossible.

Life is unpredictable, though. Sometimes our choices get the best of us.

Emma was becoming more and more depressed looking at the homeless man as the subway barreled forward. The fingernail on Emma’s left thumb was so low by the time the homeless man woke up that she had been biting the flesh at the top. She quickly changed the focus of her gaze as the homeless man started to stir and she concentrated her attention on the damage she had done to her thumb. It was red and the skin was jagged and rough.

When the homeless man sat up completely, he slid to sit erect directly in front of Emma. She heard a light drip on the floor and looked down to see that a pool of bright yellow was collecting under the man’s seat. Emma’s eye’s widened and she stood in a hurry. It was all too much and she decided that regardless of her location, the next stop would be her last on that train car. She stood looking at her reflection ghosted over the rushing blackness on the other side of the door. Her shoulders rose and fell steadily as she tried to calm herself and put it out of her mind. And then she noticed something behind her reflection was moving and she turned with a start. The homeless man was standing right in front of her. She smelled him strong in her nose like a punch and she closed her eyes to try and make it all go away. In that blackness, though, she saw the urine smell, the dank odor of his body wafting from the intimate parts of him long neglected by soap and water. She saw it pulling away from the black and rolling itself until it was bright in color. And then colors began to appear all over the black expanse until she was watching a puzzle assemble itself.

Emma opened her eyes when she heard the man speak. “Either get off or move!” he said impatiently. Emma could not process his words fast enough and he pushed past her rudely. She stumbled into the metal bar that people used to steady themselves. She paused to collect herself and when the train wrenched itself forward again, Emma found herself staggering around the car to keep her balance. Her head was still spinning and she imagined what she must look like, dancing around on the train like a crazy person. She grabbed for a metal bar and managed to crawl into the seat she had been sitting in and took deep breaths.

“The next stop is 3rd Street and Columbus Ave.”

Emma frowned at the announcement. She had missed her stop. When the train slowed at the next station Emma could not move. She sighed and thought to herself, “I can catch the express uptown a couple stops down….” She was interrupted by a crumpled dollar bill swaying just in her line of vision. A young man was standing in the opened door of the train with one hand extended towards her, offering the bill, and the other was being tugged by an attractive young woman who was most likely his impatient girlfriend. “The doors are gonna close on you!” she screamed in such a way that made her pretty face ugly to Emma. “Just one second.” He turned to Emma, “Please take it, it’s all I can spare but you look like you could use it.”

Emma took it but she could not imagine why he had offered it in the first place and she watched him finally give in to the girl tugging at his arm. When the doors closed Emma turned to watch the man being drug away by the girl and they looked to be arguing. The train continued forward and Emma’s reflection came into focus when the car passed the scenery on the platform. She looked awful. Her hair looked like she had just done battle with a strong wind and at some point she had inadvertently rested her hand in what smelled like, and what she hoped was, mud. She touched her face a lot and she could see the thin wisps of dark color on her fair complexion. It was disheartening and she pulled the long sleeve of her shirt, wiping frantically at the mess she had made.

After a transfer uptown, she was out, above ground, collecting herself and trying to put it all behind her. It was not so easy and every man that passed her made her gait irregular like she was dizzy or lost.

Thomas is waiting for her in a park, in a stone seat at a stone table with a chess board painted on top. There are no pieces and he does not intend to play, in fact he has a notebook open and he is making a list. When Emma arrives, she is exasperated and sits with a sigh, unaware that things can get worse.