PRL Serials

The following is an account of a gathering of the VIV writing collective. All names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

Day 4/ Night 5

Everyone listened to Max and maybe it was because of the tense conversation we were delaying, but we all sat around him, watching like he was a movie.

“I don’t think any of you should feel scandalized or lied to,” Max said. “Vances is a good person and the work you all have consistently produced is unparalleled, there’s really nothing like it. When I decided to track down VIV, I did it because I admired the institution, I was inspired to use my words to better my hometown just like you all are doing. But I needed to meet VIV because I wanted to learn from her, benefit from her wisdom, and as I started talking to people and piecing things together, I came across the first issue, the one that started it all and it led me to the dark, recent history of Ladoga that we all are happy to forget. I’m talking about Ellison Colston.”

Everyone seemed to gasp when he said the name. Colston often elicited that response from people familiar with his story and I’m sure no one listening to Max expected that he’d be tied to the foundation of This and Other Things. No one said anything, though, they just stared at Max more intently than before, which I didn’t think was possible. Max continued. 

“Before I tracked down Vances, a friend of mine and I were talking about the first issue of This and Other Things, about the Hassan lynching, and we both wondered if VIV, the original one, had a personal connection to Hassan. It seemed that the whole idea, the impetus behind making the newsletter a reality, was to tell the story of Hassan and his family that got lost in all the sensationalism the story generated nationally. It felt personal, so I’ve been trying to get in touch with Colston ever since.”

He was looking at me when he said that and I knew that he was worried about my reaction to the reality that he was still pursuing the identity of the first VIV even though I refused to tell him. I wasn’t mad, in fact, I knew that he would continue his search and maybe part of me hoped that he would be successful so that I didn’t have to continue to carry the burden of the secret. Not that it was a burden in the true sense of the word, very few people even wondered at the question. I nodded at him to continue, I knew he needed my approval in that moment, an acknowledgement that I wasn’t upset that he had gone over my head. 

“He’s been on death row at the Central Prison in Raleigh since 2012. I reached out to his family and I finally got in touch with him. He agreed to meet with me.”

I hadn’t known the fate of Ellison Colston and honestly, I didn’t care, but the incident had happened so long ago that I’d assumed the state had already killed him. I have never been a proponent of the death penalty, not even in Colston’s case, but the state of North Carolina had killed countless black men for much less than Ellison’s crimes and I assumed that his sentence would have been swiftly carried out. 

“Of course I want to ask him about the first VIV,” Max said, “but I want to hear his story, as much as he’s willing to share. I know what he did was horrible, but I’d like to tell his story. If not in This and Other Things, then with my friends at the Serials. I want to ask him why he killed those people.”

“You think he’ll tell you?” Noah asked him. “He hasn’t explained himself outside of political rants since it happened. A lot of people say he’s crazy.”

“We’ve sent a few letters back and forth, and it seems like he has something to say. I was honest about my intentions, and when I mentioned VIV, he agreed to meet with me. Maybe that’s why he was willing to talk to me.”

“I’m sure everyone would be curious what you come away with,” I said, “but I won’t let you publish the name of the original VIV, not with us or anyone else.”

“I respect that and I guarantee you that I won’t…” Max started before Gabby interrupted. 

“I think we all deserve to know who the first VIV was if he finds out,” she said. “I want to know.”

“I honestly don’t think it matters,” Sabrina said. 

“Why did she make you promise to keep it a secret?” Hallie asked me.

I sighed. It was hard to explain, honestly, but they all deserved more than nonresponse. 

“That first issue of This and Other Things appeared a while after Hassan’s death,” I explained, “and it mostly disappeared. You couldn’t just find it anywhere, it’s a rare thing to just come across it by accident. After the Colston incident, the first issue resurfaced, the exact same issue, like someone made copies of it and redistributed it. But not VIV, maybe someone did it after they learned about Colston’s connection to it. But when it was recirculated, some people started making connections and accusations. Some people think VIV helped Colston with his attack on Ladoga and she’s been cagey about people knowing her identity since then.”

Everyone thought about that for a while and I was grateful that they all seemed to understand the position that I was in. Even if the police never officially looked into VIV’s connection to Colston, she never wanted the newsletter to be associated with him and it would if the inhabitants of Ladoga learned her name. 

We discussed it until the sun went down and eventually we ate around the dining room table, hoping to clear all of the food from the fridge. 

“I’m still feeling a little upset,” Gabby confessed as we picked at containers of food. “I mean, this is all crazy and I’d probably have done the same thing if I were in your shoes, but it was hard to hear. It doesn’t make this whole thing a lie, but it makes me wonder how much you really trust us, Chief.”

“I get it,” Angie said, “all if it. No one, including you Max, needs to know the true identity of the first VIV. Chief is right that it can’t matter all that much, we maintain anonymity, use VIV as our shield so we are safe and so everyone knows that VIV stamp of approval means something.”

“Us knowing the truth doesn’t necessarily jeopardize that,” Gabby said.

“Anybody knowing,” Hallie said, “jeopardizes that. Be realistic Gabby.”

The more we talked, the better I felt; it was clear that we would continue our project together as a collective and part of me wished I had been the impetus for this conversation. I wished that I had been honest about keeping the first VIV’s secret, but the only thing that mattered then, was moving forward and regaining the trust of my contributors. 

As we ate, the laughter returned to our conversation and I knew that everything had happened as it was meant to happen. No one mentioned the dreams we’d been having to Max, though Gabby did take some convincing given everything that had transpired since he arrived, but went along with it because ultimately the rarebit and a strange dream wasn’t nearly as big a deal as the whole first VIV thing. 

Max ate the leftover rarebit without even being offered it. 

“That cheese toast look good,” he said as he grabbed and ate it and we all tried not to look suspicious.

“I have to say,” Noah said to Max before we all left the table to go to bed on the last night of our summit, “I’m really curious how your thing with Colston is gonna go. How much time do you have with him when you visit?”

“Probably less than an hour,” Max said. “Depending on how it goes, my questions, whether or not he likes me, I guess, he offered to let me come more than once.”

Maybe it was time for Colston to answer questions about his act that left so many dead. Maybe he was ready to do that. I was eager to see how things would go for Max and I was happy that he’d protect the VIV mystery regardless of the project that resulted from his encounters with Colston. 

We all went to bed happy with the way things had unfolded over the course of our summit. I felt lucky to be part of this group, and I had a pleasant dream that night of us all buzzing around a busy office and producing a newsletter made of solid gold. There was no black figure present.