II. To be out is nice. It feels like a luxury when you allow yourself the green to blow on the frivolous, the empty items, like a tv, that have the potential to become lifelong companions. I’d reach back into childhood to bring up my Sit-n-Spin in a split second if I had the ability. I can already feel myself whirling around. The modern day equivalent is probably my mp3 player and I expect, demand really, that it be with me for a very long time, it was a major financial endeavor for me and I want my money’s worth. A nice plate at a restaurant gives me that for the minutes I am eating it, wrapping me in sauces or dips on succulence and appearing as seconds as chunks in my teeth. Walking in the night under a low ceiling of lights gives you levity you previously attributed to fantasy, that an urban night can be like a bona fide city excursion through numerous attractions beckoning you off the street, and inside there are tip-hungry waitresses smiling you up and down refilling your cup even though you already downed five sweet teas, or well meaning bar tenders sliding you the bowl of beer nuts/party mix that everyone in the bar who did not wash their hands after using the bathroom rummaged hands into, and made your night Facebook Picture Album worthy. These nights do, still, exist.
I. To be in your 60th hour of work for the week is rough.
2. On layover days you cannot be made to move. You want everything that you should not want so bad to have and ache for, every vice rushing at you at once, flesh and fluids, friction and much movement, and some unsuspecting lady who is in for a night she will not soon forget. She will disappear under you and you will be somewhere else until you come back to love on her. There is no concept of ‘going back.’ You are so far away from ‘going back’ that you will drink three hard-glass bottles empty, because it will be a funny story the next day and when you are not away and ‘back to it.’ It will take the place of being able to go back there after a hard day when you are in need of a mental hiatus, and you can always smile at the thought of layover times.
1. Iraq. Deployment is rough.