The first thing I did after Wes and I met with the editor was talk with Mr. Smith. He had always been a sage adviser and I knew that I could count on him for some clarity. I went to see him at his home where he was pouring through old issues of the newsletter.
“I have to thank you for turning me on to this publication.” He said. “There’s so much here.” He picked up an issue that looked particularly mangled. “This one here is about the sex scandal at Ladoga High School. I remember it because I worked there at the time. A teacher was having sex with a student and it caused this big ethical debate because the student was 19 years old at the time. There is such a great analysis in here about maturation and what it means to be an adult. You know in some countries, you’re not considered to be an adult until you’re 21? And some scientists think that adulthood doesn’t really start until mid 20s? That analysis alone is very interesting, but VIV goes into the dilemma created by the power structure. A teacher exerts a certain amount of control over their students and there is potential for coercion. The most fascinating thing about this whole story is the fact that the female teacher who had a relationship with her student, is now married to the student and is still a teacher at Ladoga High.”
I had heard about the story though I had graduated a few years before it happened. It was strange to me that a teacher who caused such a scandal would be allowed to continue teaching, but VIV explained in the issue that the teacher was highly regarded before the incident and good teachers were hard to come by. There were obvious ethical gray areas in the story that VIV seemed to cover extensively in the issue. I sat in Mr. Smith’s living room where he was organizing the old copies of the newsletter marveling at the work that VIV had produced. It was possible that going through with my mission of finding VIV would ruin the potential for stories like the one with the teacher to get the kind of attention that VIV had paid to it. But who said any of the stories actually got attention? Just because VIV chose to write them, doesn’t ensure an audience for them. It was true that VIV liked to dissect issues from a 360 degree perspective so that if a reader made their way through an entire issue, they would get points and counterpoints to the central theme of the issue. That in itself was admirable and if no one was lucky enough to appreciate that work, it didn’t mean that the endeavor was useless or a waste of time.
“Should I call it off?” I asked Mr. Smith earnestly after sitting quietly among the growing archive. It really was impressive to see all of the paper jammed full of really good information that had been produced by this one entity and for no money at all.
“I can’t tell you that, Max.” Mr. Smith was sincere.
“If Wes and I go to this conference as Ladoga reporters, I’m gonna have to produce a piece for the Daily.” I explained. “And that’s great, but what if VIV insists on her anonymity? Then I’ve lied to the editor at the Daily and I really like her alot. It would be awesome to work with her and I don’t want to burn bridges.”
“Then don’t go to the conference as Ladoga reporters.” Mr. Smith said. “If you don’t want that hanging over your head, remove it as an option. That doesn’t guarantee that you will meet VIV, right?”
He was right, but without that hook, my chances of meeting VIV were wildly diminished and the point of going to the conference was kind of mute.
“You’re seriously not curious who VIV is? It’s not a question you want answered?” I asked Mr. Smith.
“It would be interesting to meet the person or people behind it all, but if knowing the truth compromises my ability to read the wonderful work in anyway, then I wouldn’t want to know. The work means more than the creator in the end, don’t you think? You never met Shakespeare before right? But you can still appreciate his work. I think that if you lack a clear reason why you need to know VIV’s identity, then you’re wasting your time.”
It honestly felt like he was telling me to leave it alone, but even if I couldn’t articulate it, I felt that I did have a clear reason for knowing VIV.
I went home still questioning my own objectives. My girlfriend listened patiently as I explained my dilemma and when I was finished she said, “You better find out who VIV is!”
She practically yelled at me and I worried that she might hit me.
“You have to find out. All this time and effort you put into this already, you would just give it up? No, sir. Go to that conference with Wes as Ladoga reporters. Talk to that editor and explain what you explained to me. She’s a journalist, I think she would understand that you can’t promise a story until you know you have one. I swear, Max, if I don’t know who VIV is by Christmas, I think we’re gonna have to end this relationship.”
I hoped that she was just motivating me and I kissed her.
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