The IBF basement is home to patients who undergo top secret experiments to provide workable cures or further insight into brain and mental disorders that plague portions of the population. There is a patient in the basement by the name of Gerry Caudle who has suffered from realistic delusions for much of his life. He was referred to the IBF because of the increasing interference the delusions have had on his life. Eakran agreed to treat Gerry because of the nature of his delusions. At no point over the course of his life has Gerry ever had fantastical delusions, he has only ever managed to misunderstand his reality and to draw the wrong conclusions from the truth. Eakran wonders if Gerry’s delusions are the result of his inability to understand the world as others do and he has his assistant doctor, Frederick Cousins work with Gerry to understand the man’s misunderstandings about his reality.
“You are not being followed by the CIA or any other organization.” Cousins’s calmly explained to Gerry when he first came to the IBF. “There’s no reason to assume that just because someone is walking in the same direction that you are that they are following you or interested in you at all.”
“I get that,” Gerry pleaded, “I really do. But the same person, everyday, walking the same way that I go?”
“You walked the same way everyday, why wouldn’t someone else?”
Cousins tried reasoning with Gerry at first and it seemed to work. At the time, Gerry did not live permanently at the IBF, but had regular appointments. Over the course of several visits with Gerry, Cousins realized that Gerry was an extremely observant individual and he had a tendency to over analyze the minutia of everyday. He was superstitious about everything and he always looked for signs to guide his decision-making. Gerry was petrified of patterns, they gave him the sense that someone that he could not see had the power to shape the present and that scared him.
“If I am crazy, then I might as well go all out, I might as well lean into it.” Gerry said in one of his sessions with Cousins.
“You have to resist the delusions.” Cousins said.
“Do I?” Gerry asked “What’s the difference between delusion and faith? How do I know when I’ve crossed a line?”
“When your faith is out of the realm of possibility.” Cousins said. “Don’t be mistaken, though, that faith and delusion are mutually exclusive. Believing something to be true without evidence of that truth is both delusion and faith.”
“So if I believe in a savior God I am delusional?”
“Technically, yes.” Cousins said matter of factly.
“And if I believe that this woman loves me, even though we never talk, then I am just as delusional?”
“Yes.” Cousins said, grappling with the pivot. “Well, why do you think she loves you? Has she ever said it?”
“She doesn’t have to.” Gerry said. He teared up as he talked as though the realization of Cousins diagnosis dawned on him as he said more. “Everything she does she does for me. All of her social media posts are for me, I just know it.”
Cousins felt really bad for Gerry and said in his most reassuring voice, “Believing something without evidence is delusion. There is no distinction between believing in a God you can’t prove exists and believing that someone loves you when they haven’t said that explicitly. If I make a distinction then I’m saying it’s better to believe one unprovable thing over another which wouldn’t be healthy for you. You have to focus on reality. Don’t put your faith in things that you can’t see.”
Eakran never developed any treatment for Gerry and he has since moved permanently to the IBF because of increasing interruption in his life.
Cousins asked Eakran about treatment for Gerry early on and Eakran was honest. “Some cures require deformation of the brain that would have side effects worse than the initial malady. We can disrupt his ability to recognize patterns, but that’s no good is it? I’m just fascinated by his stories. I read your notes as a bedtime story every night. And that girl he thinks loves him, I found her social media. I’m sure she doesn’t even know that he exists. The human mind will bend over backward sometime. Keep him talking, though, I’m such a big fan.”
This may have been the first time that Cousins doubted the objectives of his employer. Cousins still talks with Gerry very dutifully and does his best to rid the man of delusion and reinforce reality. But it is similar to running up a greased hill, you only slip and end up at the start.
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